http://www.findingmygoddess.com/

(anyone else think he looks like George Bluth, Sr.?)

You are the first guy I have ever met in a hot tub.  I thought dreams like that only came true on craiglist casual encounters, but there you were with your substantially uglier friend.   And I enjoyed when my drunk roommate whined “why do i get the ugly one?” when we eventually paired off.

So hot. SO EFFEN HOT you were! And so terrible at kissing! THE WORST.  It was like kissing someone that had never done it before, or that had learned to kiss from a St. Bernard.  Being touched by you was like getting frisked at a police station…. cold, frantic, and yet amazingly BORING.  I have never been so immediately turned on and then turned OFF based on technique. Hearing noises from the room next door, I actually wondered if going with the ugly one might have been a better deal in all.

Here’s a pointer: you may get a lot of play cuz you are cute as hell, but you need a decent girlfriend to teach you a thing or two or EVERYTHING.  I don’t know how you guys do it over in Scotland, but in American, women like to enjoy their sexual encounters.

The Unsatisfied American.