(note: this is technically several different exes, but since they all engage in the same asshole behavior, i will address them as one collective entity).

Dear FF,

I wanted to drop you a note to let you in on a little technological advancement to help you with your use of social networking sites. HIDE THE FUCKING SHADY SHIT FROM ME. use a limited profile for me so i don’t have to be seeing all the flirty notes you keep writing to hippies from your vacation, or see the beer bongs you did with your “ex girlfriend” on new years… or the other twenty thousand tagged photos of you and other ladies in various stages of courtship/love/drunken sex. i really don’t need the status update that after sleeping with me, you went from “its complicated” to “in a relationship” with a coked out 20 year old model.

you are by definition AN ASSHOLE because frankly, you are CHOOSING to show me this shit, and thus DELIBERATELY hurting my feelings.  its really lame. i won’t be creating a “fan page” for you based on this behavior.

unfriend me if you are going to be so cruel.

love,
the girl that didn’t know it was over yet (until she met your new gf online)