1) All the cute little things you thought were endearing soon become the very things you will mock relentlessly (slight lisp, weird hobbies, distinct style of dress…)

2) You will never get all your stuff back.  Its NEVER worth it to call for the old MC Hammer tshirt back. Yes, even if you went to the concert.

3) As it turns out, a deep and abiding appreciation for Radiohead does not make you soulmates. In fact, taste in music I am fairly positive has no long-term bearing on compatibility. You have your OWN ipod, right? And everyone likes Radiohead, its like choosing a partner based on the fact you both like pizza.

4) You should delete them from your phone.  In a world of drunk dialing and text messaging, its just too tempting.

5)  No, you can’t be friends! It GETS WEIRD, everytime… sooner or later.  Friends is a euphemism and a way to draw out the break up.  If you have boned down, you ain’t friends anymore.